This is a bit of a cathartic, explanatory post in a way. If this blog were a uni class, I would have failed attendance months back. In my defence, I’m still alive and kicking and that has to count for something, right?
To explain, I made an executive decision a few months back to take a step away from the blog. I kept stressing about posts, content, comics and everything else while the rest of my life was utter chaos and I realised that I had lost the original idea of this blog in the process – it was a place for me to relax, share my mind when I wanted to share it and it was the freedom of that which made me share my thoughts and art and everything else so often.
I had to take things back to that point. Suffice to say that things on my end are still a complete and absolute mess, but they’re getting better. I should have an actual office built by the end of this weekend so the business can start making money again and I have a ‘mental health’ space. I’m still making little bits of progress on my jewellery skills and life is very slowly moving in the right direction. I have to be happy with that. Yell and scream at an elephant as much as you want, but he’s still going to do everything in his own time. By the time you find something big and scary enough to make him move faster, you’ve already expended more energy than he has and have therefore lost the game.
So, to keep thing simple and in the spirit of this comic entry, things WILL get better. In the mean time, I’ll get my wizard on and post only precisely when I intend to, and not a moment before. And hopefully before long, you’ll see a lot more of me.
The below drawing is my number 3 entry to my ‘100 unicorns project’ which is a little pet idea that aims to bring a little more fantasy to the world around us. This was sketched out at 4am when I couldn’t sleep. It’ll eventually be finished in the same style.
It’s a little messy since it’s literally pen over pencil markings at this point, but use your imagination.
Horsey, horsey, burning bright,
who the hell set you alight?
Because I am way too tired to think of a better title. Seriously. I am exhausted.
Have a unicorn. 1/100 of my 100 unicorns project.
I also just realise that I was so tired I accidentally sent this to my Drafts rather than publishing it last night. Derp.
It’s been a long week. Have a comic.
I did another random request thread last night to chase off some derpression. I might do another one tonight. These are some of the better sketches I thought I’d share.
As much woe and misery as there was in my last post, I’m still in the middle of a really bloody awful pain flare that’s kept me either chair or bed bound, but I’m emotionally feeling much better. My knees are footballs and I feel like I’ve been sodomised by a pachyderm, but my hands are mostly functional. I’m still mostly keeping to myself because I may actually maul someone. I’ve had some work to focus on and have been enjoying some reference/anatomy work on cats, because who doesn’t love something that’s half fur and half liquid in the least disgusting sense?
Since I haven’t posted a comic on a while, I figured I would share what I HAVE been working on.
Don’t you dare judge me.
My cats are amazing. Especially because some of them actually look like cats. This is a big achievement for me. I couldn’t help myself with the captions. It kind of just happened.
For all my comicy friends out there (I’m looking at you Tony :3), I actually found a brilliant reference engine. It’s quite easy to find a reference engine for humans, nudes and inanimate objects/still life, but this is the first one I found that actually covers a detailed and broad range of animals and other things for when you don’t want to draw a semi-naked barbarian woman, or other frivolous human things.. Seriously. This is the equivalent to a wet dream for me.
We have a new addition to the family 🙂
As I’m starting this post, it’s 2:11am and I’m lying in bed, typing this on my phone with manthing halfway draped across my back. Have you ever been so tired you couldn’t sleep? I honestly have no idea what my body is doing. I apologise for any incoherence in the following post. I seem to have spent most of today running on two and a half brain cells and I’m struggling to make sense of autocorrect on my phone.
Thank god Christmas and New Year is gone for another few hundred days. I managed to survive it all by the seat of my pants and a lot of coffee. Christmas day was spent visiting family (manthing’s and then mine) though we still need to see my family up north. Time seems to work strangely around celebrations. Boxing day was spent hiding at home. NYE was at my adoptive dad’s place and was very interesting. I don’t have the brain to elaborate right now, but suffice to say it was food for a lot of thought.
The last few weeks have been a bit of a blur between thr seasonal madness and my bi – weekly Chiro appointments. This means that I’ve been in a fair bit of pain and spent the last few days in a nasty pain flare. I’ve tried to do my usual socialising, but I won’t lie – it’s left me terribly worn out. I’m back to feeling like that blanket that’s been worn so much it’s fraying at the edges.
Right now I’m having trouble focusing on my writing thanks to stabbing back pain. I’m going to take a wild guess and assume I’ve managed to aggravate it today. Today was helping with fixing a shed, by the way. The problem is that all my pain seems to be linked. I’m getting the headaches and pelvic pain and then costo pain in the chest and aches in my legs. All because my back is being a twat.
I feel a little like a tangled puppet. With all of this going on, I’ve also found it hard to be motivated. I really do want to try a 365 drawing challenge. Or at least a creative challenge where I make something each day. Yesterday I helped make a shed a little tidier. Today (technically) I wrote this blog and will be helping with a Pathfinder game later in the day. The day before I made a squid beanie. The day before that… does making carbon dioxide count? If not, I made the house a little messier. In all seriousness, I really do want to do this. If you have a suggestion for a drawing, or another creative challenge leave it in the comments. I think it would be awesome to document the process so, at the end of a long week, I can look back and say “I’m not quite so useless after all”. Without the implied self – depreciation, of course. It’s just a little sense of achievement I can look forward to.
My problem tonight is that I’m exhausted but my body won’t stop and my anxiety is playing up because of the physical stress. I guess this journal had really been more of a journal than a lot of my other entries in that it’s a genuine stream of thought. On that note, I have a few articles I’d like to write up and share.
For now, I really need to pee so I’m going to wrap this blog entry up (first one for the year. How about that?), do my thing and then maybe play some Pokemon until I get comfy.
Be good ❤
This sir was a draft of a Pathfinder character
I realised after drawing him that, with where the belt is placed and the vest, it looks like he has remarkably short legs, so I need to fix this on the final version. This one is a mischevious bard that specialises in dirty lyrics and bawdy rhymes. For the sake of keeping my blog active, though, I thought I’d share.
This is why we can’t have nice things. Saturday’s Pathfinder session led to some very interesting conversational topics, one of which ended up being how one would bleed a troll. I suggested milking it like a Horseshoe Crab (only nobody knew what I was talking about), so I drew a picture instead. Enjoy!