[Journal] That little blue pill

Today saw another visit to the specialist. Aside from consistently being over an hour late every time I go to see him, very little has changed; we’re still exactly two tenths of bugger-all close to improving my pain, but that doesn’t mean that we’re not going to throw medications at it!

After much debate over just how awful Cymbalta was for me (it’s cool, disregard everything I say the first time around, doc) we came to the conclusion that the Lyrica does actually help the horrible shooting nerve pain, but does nothing for the muscular pain or the burning joint pain or anything else that’s going on. So, the Lyrica stays. That’s cool. We put me back on the Celebrex, double my dose and cross our fingers that this might help some other kind of pain – you don’t know unless you try these things. It’s also important that I go back on some kind of anti-depressant/anxiety control and get my sleep back into some kind of order. At present, I’m sleeping for maybe 3 hours a night, if I’m lucky. Unfortunately, I’m also suffering some major mental/cerebral fuckery. Memory loss. Major memory loss. The kind where I’ll forget what day it is, why I got up to use the bathroom (yes, when it’s kind of obvious) and what I’m talking about mid way through a conversation.

So, the deal is that I’ve been put on Amytriptaline. Some of you know that this goes very poorly for me, but this is my option right now. 10811614_10153360609232942_398713081_n Mostly due to my own cockup – I could only remember amytriptaline when I went in, not what it did to me (and I had Manthing with me, too, but he couldn’t remember) so there’s a good chance I’ll need to have this changed by a GP some time in the next week. Granted, I am on a very low dose, so if I do react badly, I at least won’t want to gnaw my own ankle off because it’s smack talking me. But, I’m going to have to start keeping a log of what shit I react badly to and what stuff I can take. Just, for the life of me, I couldn’t remember if it was the Endep or the Xydep, and he would have picked one either way and said “let’s try this and see if it’s this one”, so we’re functionally in the same place.

At the same time, there’s a lot going on in my  brain right now. The real estate have decided to functionally be dicks about the entire housing thing, but we got approved for a new place that we can move into after the 21st. We’re $2500 out of pocket, but jesus tapdancing christ, we don’t have to put up with the hell that is here. We almost wrote off the car today/died, but no biggie. I have no small amount of applause for Manthing’s driving skills for avoiding what would have otherwise been a really awful situation. I’m exhausted and my head hurts. Tomorrow tickets for the Foo Fighters go on sale and I want need to be at their concert in Feb. I’m crossing my fingers that I get tickets for myself, manthing and two friends. They go on sale in 9 hours and I will sell my firstborn child for one.

At this point, I’m running out of brain to write, so I’m going to wrap things up. I’ve got a few comics up my sleeves (just need the time/equipment to draw them and one of those  two are in boxes!) and a few other ideas going on, but you’ll have to wait for that 🙂

[Journal] God damn it

You may have noticed that I have been absent for the last little while. Things are tough on this end.

I had the procedure to repair the damage done to my toe by that arse hat of a doctor. Been keeping off my feet the last few days and in considerable pain. It’s been pouring rain here the last half a week. I’ve had a major pain flare, and then the weather-associated-fuckery to boot, and then the angry toe on top of all of that. I’m a misery burrito right now. Three layers of clothing and then a fluffy bath robe over the top of all of that. I am an angry pinata full of swear words and hatred for everyone and everything. Like assholes who manage to take up two parking spots in something the size of a Prius. When one of those parking spots is a disabled one. The spot I need to use on days like today. If people insist on parking like abortions, I may just have to start keeping a chalk marker in my bag and covering their windows in veiny phallus drawings.

Anyway, I’ve had ideas for comics but just no ability to really hold a pen steady. I’ve also got work for a client that needs to be done, but the same issue. Can’t hold an engraving tool when your hands are wonky as fuck. It would appear that the horribly drowsy side effects of the… Lyrica. That one. I knew it had something to do with music. The Lyrica is evening out. But now I’m also being weaned off the Cymbalta and today is my first day without so I’m wonky in the brain department, having shooting nerve pain, random dizzy spells and want to throw up on people purely out of spite.

if I can get my body to sort it’s shit out, I’ll be back in the swing of things soon. I need to make a few posts, catch up on my reading and nominate some awesome people for an award I was given (which I haven’t forgotten about!).

Anyway, this is as much as I can brain right now.

– Abi

[Journal] The adventure continues

So, over the last two days, I’ve had the two specialist appointments that I had been waiting months for. I won’t go into too many details, but things didn’t go quite as planned. I won’t say that it was necessarily a bad result overall, but it certainly wasn’t what I had expected.

The first specialist was the one I was seeing about the possibility of Ketamine infusions. Within the first five minutes, that was off the cards. It turns out that this particular treatment isn’t available via public health care here. The rest of the appointment followed along the lines of what we could do about changing medications to help with my pain, explaining a few things about fibro and CFS and, of course, confirming that I had both of those and adding a new diagnosis of IBS to the list.

Day two resulted in a script for Lyrica, a plan to be weaned off my dose of Duloxetine and generally a change over of things.

Today was a regular GP appointment to follow up on the specialists and also get some results. It turns out that, despite the constant swelling and bruising and whatnot, my toe isn’t broken. That’s pretty interesting. My bloods show that I am allergic to ALL THE THINGS!, specifically grass, fur of all my favourite animals and any kind of mites and dust. That basically sums up everything I am around, ever. So there’s that. Also got my script for Lyrica filled out and, thanks to the bell-ends running this country, my script isn’t classed as ‘necessary’ under our healthcare and I can’t get a generic form of it. So, I’m looking at $70 a month on top of the $108 a month I need for my private helathcare (that I had to sign up for last night) that I can’t use for another week. Oh, and because of my pre-existing illnesses, none of this will be covered for 12 months, anyway. So I have to give these guys almost a grand and a half before I throw more money at them for my healthcare. I’m not terribly impressed by the entire ordeal, but what can you do? I mean, my options are stick with what I have, be miserably sick and make no process, or beggar myself and have a chance at living some kind of normal and relatively pain-stable life. Of course, we won’t know this until I’ve been on the Lyrica for a while and we’ve tweaked it with other meds, but that’s the gamble you have to make with these things.

So, tonight I take Lyrica for the first time. I’m sore thanks to a weather change, exhausted from all the poking and prodding and walking and generally feeling like crap from it all. I’m going to give myself a few days to settle into the rhythm of things here, so if you don’t see a journal, it’s okay. I am still alive, somewhere. Possibly holed up in my bed and feeling like hot sweaty arse. On the plus side, this should actually allow me to get some sleep for the first few days while my body decides to behave itself, so we’ll see how it all goes.