I’ve been a little absent lately. To keep things short, I haven’t been well. I haven’t been handling the weather changes here very well, I’ve been stressing out about money and work issues and last week I got admitted to ER with severe chest pains. I was stuck with needles, poked and prodded and generally felt awful. Got checked for heart problems and, while I had mild tachycardia, I hadn’t had a heart attack and I didn’t have a clot on my lungs which is good news. On the downside, they suspect the horrible pain was due to inflammation in the connective tissue between my ribs and sternum, and it’s likely to happen again. Not something I really want to think about, but at the very least it won’t kill me and it’s another bit of evidence to add to my case.
The switch over with medication settled down long enough for them to up the dosage, so I’m back to feeling a little dopey but still far better than I had felt on the Sertraline. The nausea is down and I’m actually able to get some sleep at night, thought it doesn’t do much for the horrible exhaustion during the day.
I’m a little nervous today. I go back and see my specialist tomorrow and I’m really going to be pushing for a diagnosis. I’ve waited too many years now for people to um and err over what might or might not be wrong with me, and I need details on paper, not just “oh, we think it’s this, have fun”. I need to be able to keep a roof over my head when I’m too sick to work and I need answers. So, tomorrow I’ll puff myself up and march into the waiting room full of determination. I’ll update everyone when I get back.
I’ve decided that if I do get a diagnosis, I’m going to have a diagnosis party 😀 Everyone has to show up dressed as a doctor or a nurse. I’ll have white lab coats and test tube shot glasses and serve things like brain cupcakes and blood orange punch. I think after a decade of chasing this kind of nonsense, I deserve some fun.
Speaking of fun, I’m feeling remarkably motivated and proud of myself today. I’m back to being broke, but I sorted out my car rego, my business insurance and bit the bullet and bought myself the Vaginismus self-treatment kit. I’ve been putting it off for many, many reasons for quite some time, but I think it kind of dawned on me today that these things won’t change unless I make them. I’ve got enough fire in my belly today to really just try to kick life in the butt and I’ll deal with the fallout tomorrow. God forbid the specialist should see me in any kind of actual pain. Thankfully I’ll have manthing with me tomorrow for support so I won’t need to worry about the stress and drama of my usual ride.
I’m really going to try and push for an update a day. I think I owe myself an outlet and if other people are interested then what harm is there in sharing? I won’t be able to make much in the way of posts over the weekend, though. I have a booking for a market stall over both days, so it’ll be a VERY long and tiring weekend for me. However, that doesn’t stop me from drawing more comics while I’m there!